Missing Being Mrs by Jennifer Croly

Author:Jennifer Croly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lion Hudson
Published: 2015-04-19T16:00:00+00:00

God’s creative solutions

What I have described are ways of dealing with the symptoms of anger. The symptoms will continue as long as there is a cause. The cause needs to be dealt with. If you can work out exactly what it is that you are angry about, what it is that is unfair in this situation, you might be able to deal with it directly. If the financial arrangements are unfair, then take steps to make that known and deal with it. You don’t just have to put up with it. Sometimes it is possible to sort it out. The Bible’s advice is to take a friend and express the perceived injustice to the one who has wronged you and see if you can come to an agreement about it. In the matter of divorce settlements that’s what mediators and your legal people are there for. You don’t need to be walked over. Some injustices are put right that way and thus the cause of the anger is removed.

However, as we all know, even with the best legal people in the world, many injustices simply aren’t put right. That’s true in all areas of life. Divorce settlements are no exception. What’s more, some things just can’t be sorted out that way. For example, if you both want the dog, you can’t both have it, so one of you is going to feel angry about it. In these last two cases there is nothing for it but to revert to God’s antidote – forgiveness. You feel angry: that is the signal that you have been wronged. You try to get the wrong put right. If that is not possible, you forgive; that releases you from the feeling and releases it to God, then the anger goes.

But what do you do with the things you just can’t forgive? There are some things you just can’t forgive. They go too deep; they are too wide-ranging and they hurt far too much. When I hit those places I didn’t even try. I just cried. The particular hurt will be different for different people. The issue is irrelevant. The point is that one night I felt the extent of the pain of my hurt in a certain area and saw the ramifications of it, and I couldn’t forgive. (If you are reading this and you don’t understand that, you are a very lucky person.) The results of that were immediate. I began to hate him. I couldn’t believe that he could be that cruel to me. I couldn’t believe that a person could be so cruel to another person! I couldn’t believe that a man could be so cruel to a woman. Then, in hating him, I found I was hating all men. Hate leads on to hate. A heart closed against him was closed against all men. I don’t know the psychological process that lies behind that. I suppose that my husband had come to define “men” for me. So in hating him I was rejecting him, and in rejecting him I was rejecting all men.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.